While many parents already feel the burden of guilt when divorcing due to the impact it will have on their child, this burden is undoubtedly even bigger for adoptive parents. After all, you worked hard to enter parenthood and broke the many oaths you made to maintain a unified and welcoming home for your adopted child.
Adopted children can take divorce harder than other children, too. But fortunately, there are things that you can do to ease the situation for them.
Creating A Family looks into some things that divorcing adoptive parents should do in order to ease the transition into divorce and post-divorce life for an adopted child. First, embrace co-parenting. Though you are no longer married, you are both still your child’s parents and should work together to support them throughout their life. Seek counseling or other options if your negative feelings get in the way of cooperation. This also means not putting down your co-parent in front of your child, no matter what.
Always put your child first
Next, prioritize your child’s emotional needs first for about a year after the divorce. Do not completely revamp your life, date, or introduce new significant others to them. Simply allow them the time and space to process the divorce first before introducing new changes.
Finally, ensure your child knows that they have not caused the divorce. Adopted children often feel a great sense of blame for a split, thinking they did something to make their parents not want them anymore. Let them know that your issues with one another stem from fundamental incompatibility and had nothing to do with them and that the two of you love them no matter what. This can help create the stability they need to move forward.