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Potential pitfalls to consider for open adoptions

On Behalf of | Jun 30, 2022 | adoption

There are many reasons to consider adoption. However, even after you decide to adopt, there are still many other factors you must weigh. For example, you must consider the relationship between your adopted child and their biological family.

Open adoption is when the adopted child knows the identities of their birth mother or other family members. According to, 95 percent of American infant adoptions have some connection with the biological family. Open adoption is not for everyone, though. Before bringing the birth family into your life, you need to consider the following issues.

Unreasonable demands

Sometimes the birth parents make unreasonable requests of the adoptive parents. The biological family might give unsolicited parenting advice, demand financial support or request to see the child. You need to set clear boundaries from the beginning. Otherwise, the relationship may be unclear for the birth parents and your child.

Guilt or inadequacy

The reverse can also happen. The birth parents might feel obligated towards you or their biological child. As the adoptive parents, you pay for every part of the process. The biological family might feel shame or guilt for their lack of investment in the child. Such negative feelings can breed resentment or worse towards you and your adopted child.

The potential downsides to open adoption do not mean you should keep your adoption closed. Many adopted children benefit from open adoptions. However, you should be aware of the problems that can develop and prepare for how you might deal with them. All adoptions have their difficulties, but the overall benefits for you and your adopted child far outweigh the struggles you might face.